I’m having a hard time leaving the parking lot. Yes a parking lot.

I am returning back to the campus where I work after 4 months of working remotely – it’s so familiar and different at the same time.

I got out of my car masked and remained so until I returned 1 1/2 hours later.

I completed my Covid screening, sent it to my manager, and showed proof as I entered the building. I made my way to the floor where my meeting was, and physically distanced from other attendees while we waiting in the hall for the conference room to be free. It was good to “see” everyone – “see” means something different now days – but this time it means seeing folks live and in person.

The last group exited the conference room – everyone careful to maintain their distance. The room was wiped clean and then we entered. The layout and spacing of chairs and tables very deliberate.

It was a meeting where we presented and answered questions to an individual who was on a virtual platform and located in New England. We were masked the entire time. It went well – our knowledge, energy and enthusiasm still shined through. We quickly wrapped up and headed out as the the next group waited — totally normal conference room behavior!

I ran into my senior leader and realized we hadn’t had small talk in months – it was just a few minutes, but it was sooo normal.

I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes – just doing stuff, busy work — stretching out soaking up this slice of normal.

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Text messages have no tone or verbal cues to determine fully and accurately what was intended.  To say they can be easily misunderstood is an understatement. It’s not like a phone call – where you decide whether to answer and have the conversation at all, re-direct things mid-stream because the train has left the tracks, or prevent the conversation from going off the rails entirely.

For Senders .  . .

• Should it even be a text? Certain topics should never go in a text. If you can’t say it to them, you should not text it to them. If it’s an emergency – only text to ask that the person call you.
• Consider the timing – we often have notifications that ping or pop-up that can interrupt or distract us. Think about the rhythm of the receiver’s personal life – are they getting kids setup for school, working, having dinner, putting kids to bed, or is it the time when they decompress from the day?
• Wait for a response. Avoid sending repeated messages on the same topic – or sending “did you get my text?” very shortly thereafter. Sometimes no response is a response.

For Receivers . . .

• You can set boundaries – when you prefer a call, when not to expect a response (e.g. work hours or dedicated family time), etc.

• You can choose not to respond at all – not every text requires a response.

• You can decide how to respond – if you perceive a negative tone or attitude be careful not to match it. Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Friendships and family relationships have been damaged and not easily repaired in an exchange of text messages.

• You can decide when to respond – activating “do not disturb” settings and include an auto-reply for certain periods in your day (it references driving but can be set up for any purpose).

©Bloom in Every Garden 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

It’s been more than 2 years since my last post and my life has had some twists and turns.

Those twists and turns had more challenges than celebrations to be honest.

Let’s start with the really tough, hard, difficult times.  Those mornings when it is hard to get up and do it all over again. 

Do you say things to yourself like . . . 

I can’t stop and feel what has happened – I won’t recover.

My situation is not as bad as what other people are going through – so it’s OK.

Everyone has so much on their plates, they don’t have the time to help me even if they wanted to.

What happens when we keep moving without processing our experiences, whether they are really tough or really rewarding?

I’ve realized we could miss something – some big “somethings” . . . 

Things Like . . .

It didn’t bring your life to a complete halt, wipe you out, or bury you.

It taught you some things about yourself you didn’t know – you never imagined yourself in a situation like this, or finding your way through it.

You learned things you can share with others to make their path easier.

You realize how much your friends love you and how much they will do for you and for your family.

What You Learn . . .

You can give voice to the it and the difficulty you are facing. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself and sink on the inside just to hold everyone else around you up – they survive and you are emotionally buried under the weight of it.

If you are a person of faith like me, it sometimes feels like you can’t give voice to it, because we are supposed to be able to weather any challenge; but there are situations (when you know you are in a fight) when you need back-up spiritually, emotionally, and with the day-to-day.

At the same time, I’ve found you can’t involve everyone in your personal life. I have seen people handle information irresponsibly, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.  One barometer — do you know everything about their other friends’ personal lives – that means they will have no restraint with what you share with them.  

I am fortunate that GOD has placed special people in my life (and I pray that you have them too). 

Just know you’re not alone – GOD is walking with you even during the most difficult times.  Pause and process your experience today – acknowledge what you’re going through, pray (just speak from your heart), and call for back-up (help)!

Check out another post – you can emerge stronger.

Emerge Stronger When Faced With Adversity

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I have made the decision to embark on a new journey, after spending my entire career at one organization, as the third generation of my family. I’m thankful to GOD for opening a new door for me.

Thank you for creating an opportunity bigger than what I could dream of! It was custom made for me and just me. I’m one of 7.5 billion people in the world!

Thank you for the confidence to walk in faith and not fear into a new journey.

Thank you directing my path and ordering my steps for years, through the most challenging times, in preparation for this.

Thank you for surrounding me with family and friends who were encouraging, excited, and hopeful — with no doubts.

Thank you for looking ahead and strategically positioning me well at every turn with new connections and relationships.

Now . . .I want to encourage others to believe in what’s possible for them and there is life after! the only thing they have ever known.

©Bloom in Every Garden 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.

After navigating through a series of events, I realized there were some things that can make all the difference.

Use your faith . . . it’s the weapon that helps you win the battle! You have to speak words of faith to counteract the fear, doubt, and uncertainty you feel. It changes what you tell yourself about what is happening to you.

When things are constantly changing and there are a lot of unknowns, faith gives you the foundation to stand on. It lifts you beyond your emotions and clears you mind to make decisions.

Decide where you have to put the majority of your time and energy . . . our culture has convinced us that we can do it all and we can do it all well. There are times when you have to dedicate yourself to the one thing that’s the most important. When I made the decision to step away from work to support my father through his illness, I felt relieved and a lot less stressed because I could be fully present and focused.  I did not feel weak or feel like I didn’t measure up because I made that choice – I felt strong with more control and stability in my life. 

Accept help and support from the people who love you . . . there is nothing more important than having people in your life that you can rely on and trust. They anticipate and offer you what you need before you even know you need it, and they make themselves available without question.

I’ve found that you need a pretty diverse group – because what you need at different stages of the journey is different. Sometimes I needed “the encourager” who had a word to lift me up just when I needed it, or “the mom” who didn’t mince words to make sure that I took care of myself and drew some boundaries, or the “do-er” who gave me an extra pair of hands to help me get things done.

Encourage and show appreciation to others . . . when you shift your thoughts and emotions to focus on others, it renews you. I was sensitive to what was happening around me – not just what was happening to me. I recognized  the power of saying thank you, when I admired something – I didn’t hesitate to say so, and when I felt someone needed a lift – I shared a kind word.

Every one of us will face challenges – some we anticipate and others we’re not prepared for.  We can do better than just survive and endure, we can emerge stronger.  

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 How Much Did You Do This Week to Feed Your Soul?

Did You?

. . . . Eat something you really love

. . . . Take the time to stop and notice the awesome beauty of nature

. . . . Listen to or read something that fascinates you

. . . . Recognize something that restores your faith in the other people

. . . . Decide to make the change you want to see in the world

. . . . Find a way to give someone an opportunity to live their dream

. . . . Encourage someone who is having a difficult time

. . . . Tell the truth from a place of love and respect

It will make a world of difference!

©Bloom in Every Garden 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

It’s not easy to fulfill all the roles and responsibilities we have in our lives .   .  . in our families, in our careers, in our communities.  There are times when you can’t be everywhere and you can’t do everything, so how do you navigate through it?

Use Your Cape, We All Have One!                                                                            The Power Cape (TM)   

Here’s How . . .

• Step Out Of Stress – Stress can paralyze your rational thinking – and make the obvious elusive. Step back and rise up (do this exercise in your mind). Re-establish your power.
• Listen To Your Voice – what are you saying about yourself and the circumstances? Are you using your faith – are you hopeful and believing for the best, no matter what it looks like?
• Let Your Principles Simplify Priorities – what do you value, what is irreplaceable, what is at the center of your heart? What’s first, second, and third in your life? Are your priorities consistent with your principles?
• Consider All The Options – “I have to be there” or “I have to do it” is a self-imposed requirement.  Can someone else do it? Can it be done at another time? Is there a different way to accomplish the same thing? What would happen (really?) if you didn’t do it at all?
• Shift The Momentum – A plan gives order to chaos & confusion.  Break down the situation into specific tasks and decisions – write it down! 15 minutes of planning can make all the difference.

Now Consider . . .

• Did you say “yes” when you should have said “no”?
• Are you moving through life so fast that you’re not paying attention and things creep up on you?
• Are you managing your life to live up to the world’s expectations and not holding fast to your own values?
• Are you comparing yourself to others and their “superpowers?”

Use Your Cape – not just when you have a crisis – but in the decision making that determines the quality of your life on a daily basis.

©Bloom in Every Garden 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

We Owe It To Ourselves To Be Honest

When we are honest and speak the truth, we honor who we are and we build the courage to face our challenges and live our dreams.

Many times we don’t speak the truth because of what it will require us to do, what we fear we will lose, what we feel we can justify, and the conflict we just don’t want to have.

It’s important to speak the truth when:

• You are misrepresenting who you are
• It’s contrary to an agreement or expectation that has been set
• It violates your values and what you believe
• The behavior is emotionally, spiritually, or physically harmful

When you don’t speak your truth, you miss an opportunity to:

• Get clarity and discover what could be a misperception or misunderstanding
• Present a perspective that prompts reflection and re-direction
• Draw clear boundaries on what is acceptable and what is not

Before you speak the truth – ask yourself:

• Am I clear about my motivation to tell this truth? Is it from a place of love or ego?
• Can I recognize the emotions and separate them from the facts?
• Can I consider that the truth as I know it is “my truth” and there is another possibility?
• Can I speak the truth in a way that is honorable and respectful?

It’s important that we move from speaking the truth to living the truth – that means we speak it and we expect others to do the same.      

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duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.