
Text messages have no tone or verbal cues to determine fully and accurately what was intended. To say they can be easily misunderstood is an understatement. It’s not like a phone call – where you decide whether to answer and have the conversation at all, re-direct things mid-stream because the train has left the tracks, or prevent the conversation from going off the rails entirely.
For Senders . . .
- Should it even be a text? Certain topics should never go in a text. If you can’t say it to them, you should not text it to them. If it’s an emergency – only text to ask that the person call you.
- Consider the timing – we often have notifications that ping or pop-up that can interrupt or distract us. Think about the rhythm of the receiver’s personal life – are they getting kids setup for school, working, having dinner, putting kids to bed, or is it the time when they decompress from the day?
- Wait for a response. Avoid sending repeated messages on the same topic – or sending “did you get my text?” very shortly thereafter. Sometimes no response is a response.
For Receivers . . .
- You can set boundaries – when you prefer a call, when not to expect a response (e.g. work hours or dedicated family time), etc.
- You can choose not to respond at all – not every text requires a response.
- You can decide how to respond – if you perceive a negative tone or attitude be careful not to match it. Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Friendships and family relationships have been damaged and not easily repaired in an exchange of text messages.
- You can decide when to respond – activating “do not disturb” settings and include an auto-reply for certain periods in your day (it references driving but can be set up for any purpose).
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