I heard two quotes this week that I have not been able to stop mulling over in my head and wanted to share them.

I was listening to an NPR “Here and Now” interview with veterans who had sought help to manage PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).  They were asked what they would say to fellow servicemen facing the same situation. They said a lot.  A few things: You don’t have to be a hero and project you’re OK if you’re not. You are not in this fight alone, the resources are there, and there is help.  They are losing too many servicemen who are taking their own lives – and please, please “don’t chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

And they said . . .

“It is amazing to heal.”

It made me think about seeking help, treatment, or counseling – whatever it is – very differently.  I wondered as veterans suffer from mental scars of war, young people experience anxiety or depression, or those facing an addiction they have been fighting their entire lives – What if we changed the conversation from “you need to get help” to “it’s amazing to heal?” Could that break down the walls of fear and stigma that comes with asking for help?

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I saw a story today on the “The Rachael Ray Show” about a man Joe Toles who had grown up in the foster system having been placed in foster care at birth.  He adopted 6 children (all boys!), adopting his first son at the age of 18 after being introduced to an organization “You Gotta Believe” whose purpose is to find homes for older kids.  As he talked about what it meant to be a father, he said this with tears in his eyes:

“I want to give them everything I know, so they can hear my voice when I’m gone.”

I realized those are the words I’ve been looking for.  I often tell my daughter, now a junior in college, that I will not always be here and my job is to equip her to navigate this life without me (now as a young adult and later in life) and to be a role model for her younger sister. I wear a lot of hats in life – but this is what means the most to me.

Having been on this life journey for a while now, a few things I know: one, your choices and the people you surround yourself with can change the trajectory of your life; two, even with the best laid plans, life will throw you some curves you will not see coming and evoke hurt, loss, and disappointment that you can and will recover from.  How we prepare our kids by telling them the truth of our journey, showing them our faith, and letting them see us make the hard but right choices, is the most important assignment we can have in this life, our legacy.

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